Pope Benedict, You Ruined My Day

Well that’s just great. Just freakin’ great! His eminence, Pope Benedict XVI, today announced Seven New Official Sins. (You can’t make this shit up.)

  1. “Bioethical” sins (a.k.a. birth control)
  2. “Morally dubious” experiments (a.k.a. stem cell research, and that freaky three-way you’ve been thinking of)
  3. Drug abuse (But drug use is okay!)
  4. Pollution (How’s the Pope-mobile’s gas mileage?)
  5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor (??)
  6. Excessive wealth (Take that Bill Gates!)
  7. Creating poverty (Wouldn’t this already be covered by #5?)

Checklist of Deadly Sins I've CompletedWhat a steaming, pile of crap! I am so pissed off! Why? I’ll tell you why: I just finished checking off my old sins list. I spent all day today on the couch today, doing nothing, just so I could cross off “Sloth” and call it a wrap. And then he goes and adds seven more to the list.

I think “Bait & Switch” should be a sin.