Keep The Hot Side Hot
By official proclamation of the Royal Institute of the Ardvaark: Today is no longer Columbus Day.
Since Christopher Columbus is as worthy of his own holiday as Adolf Hitler, I spent a few Beam & Diets with some friends coming up with an alternative holiday.
Henceforth, the day formerly known as Columbus Day will be known as McD.L.T. Day! It makes at least as much sense.
[Edited Oct. 2013 – replaced the McD.L.T. link with one to wikipedia, as the original site is now broken. Original version can be found here.]