So Ryan is turning 30. Such a momentus occaision calls for a something special, unique, embarassing, and difficult to clean up. I can hear you asking already, "What do you have in mind?" Well, I'll tell you: We're going to Flock him.
Flocking? What's flocking? Well, if you read the link above, you'll know that flocking is the "collective motion of a large number of self-propolled entities". For our purposes, the entities are pink flamingos, and far from being self-propelled, they are placed en masse in his front yard. Our goal is thirty flamingos, one for each year his skinny, Irish ass has been here. We're not against doing more than that, though, it's just that pink flamingos are expensive! And there's only so far we'll go for a joke, even for Ryan's 30th Birthday.
Which brings us to our next point. We need cash. Flamingos ain't cheap. We can get them here for $9 per pair, plus shipping and handling. That means we're looking at about $5.50 per flamingo, which seems pretty reasonable for, well, a stupid kitschy pink piece of plastic on a stick. Also, we are on a deadline here, and since we're really lazy and have waited until almost the last minute, we have less than two weeks from right now when I'm writing this to make this happen. With that in mind, we're planning on ordering the birds on or around August 15th. If you pledge after that date, we'll try to get your flamingo in time; but if not, we'll donate the money to Ryan's Birthday Beer Fund. And don't worry about sending a check or anything right now - I'll send out an email later, after we actually pull this off.
Finally, it should go without saying, but: DO NOT TELL RYAN ABOUT THIS! THIS IS A SECRET!
So pledge a flamingo (or seven) below. In the spirit of the great political fundraisers, we've assigned various "giving levels" to help convince you to pledge even more, in hopes of reaching the level of the amazing Placido. And if you're interested in volunteering to help with the great migration, drop Brian McCullom a note. If you have any problems with this site, then drop Brian Vargas a note.
|Full-Grown Flamingo||5-6 flamingos|
|Big Pink Machine||7-8 flamingos|